Way too long!

Yes, it's been way too long since I've last posted. It has been a months in progress and turning of events that have defined the company - BISON Relations.

It's relentless demands and innovative means to placing our mark, a niche in which we have built is now on its way - alive and breathing.

Nevertheless, I should have not undermined my blog. For months I have thought about getting on and placing an update, but realistically, I was challenged. Two magazines  and many projects later, I am back!

Mothers Day for a Special Someone... Love Letter

Dearest Honey:

Another year comes before us as we had recently celebrated our anniversary, but today marks you holiday, your special day, your mothers day in our home and in our hearts.

You are the rock that holds us in place, you endure all emotions, you have shown us ways to love more and for that I am sure the children and I are forever grateful.  The life we share has its up and downs, but that's our life together, the more we share with each other, the more I can't live without you. You see, at any day of the year, I celebrate my love for you and on this day-Mothers Day- the world celebrates for you too.

Your qualities as a woman, a mother is the wow factor! I only saw this more as my life with you pushes day by day and I am more impressed with who I have in my life to love. You are beautiful all around and from me, you take my every breath.

Boni, honey, love, friend, partner, I love you. Happy Mothers Day baby!

Love your hubby,

Wayne

NMI ET - Online commentators become critics of life, justice, economy, politics...

Entertainment tonight from the CNMI captures yet another headline story featuring the NMI leaders, the business person of the year, rapist/sex offenders released at minimal charges and of the course, government in shambles: asserting a trim down government- payless paydays!

To the critic, its perfectly fine to become the critic you are, but one must consider what have you done to make change in the CNMI? What have you contributed to sit idle in the comfort of your office chair or home and dictate or judge others actions. Lets take a look at the Marine Monument. At one point everyone thought of the project as opportunity, the lawmakers were being Shepperd in to believe its good considering an approval was necessary, but not that you think of, I for one am glad it took the course it did. More time was allotted to think about the issue, I am not saying I am against the monument, but I realize that the lawmakers had a point to make, had an issue to be thought out and sure enough there were more issues than one. Nevertheless, the negotiation was needed to get our statement across, Thanks to Angelo and Laurie and everyone else as well our lawmakers for ensuring that we did not just lose everything, but at least something to gain.

Today we have a monument, etched in the books of Congress, whats next?  Then you have the inflated government, I don't disagree with the comments that get in stating the government is fat and needs to be trimmed, but where would you start? I wonder if those critics are working for the government and whether they realize what could possibly happen to their employment if any. Can the private sector pull the weight of 4K plus employees? I don't think so. This is ir rational if the lawmakers think that the private can absorb such.

Food stamps, Lehap, HUD funds, there's so much out there. Alright, so the news is news, the reporting are either factual, opinionated or possibly baseless (yup, the worst news). Then again, the critics are horrid with some of their online comments.  I believe in speaking freely, I believe in choices, but to degrade and place showmanship of what you feel you know versus that of any actions, in my opinion is hypocritical.

I don't know why I wrote this, but I think its has been weeks from reading online comments on the Variety that has got me feeling disgusted by some comments.  Everyone seems to be a theorist, a know it all, scientist if you will.

Time is ever more so precious!

A photo captures time, the emotion, the composure of oneself at that very moment..Click! and thats it, a lifetime of memories that can be carried throughout time and even long after you leave this life. Time, it is the only thing we can never get back, so why squander on it, live and use it knowing you cannot ever come back to reclaim what was lost with time.

Younger in years, I recall how I wanted to be a grown man, fending for myself and making the choices. This was  more than 25 years ago. I felt that my parents held me back for nothing, but then again, it was my safety that they made these choices for me. Today, having children of my own I see myself doing exactly that of my parents teaching. Hmmm, funny how this turned out and like the phrase goes "only time will tell"...

Tick-tock, tick-tock, the life hour glass

Today, our multi-tasking world requires so much of us in our everyday life. Do you have enough time on your hands? I see many comments on Facebook saying I wish there were more hours in a day, I know me too... I've used this line many times before. The reality is- in my opinion, are the very facts that sometimes we do not plan accordingly in a given day that is tight with needed responsibilities to get done. Then the frustration sets in, the impatience and for some reason, you see everyone else as incompetent or too slow...Hurry up, geez- can't this be any slower?

Needless to say, we all have had our moments and yet because of the lifestyle today, we feel that everyone must be in the "zone", your-- my zone!  Time is ever so precious yet we squander it on occasions and may not even notice life slipping away, tick-tock, tick-tock, but that is for everyone to figure out for themselves, I just wrote this to remind me of how precious time really is...

Call me hypocrite, but hear what I have to say!

On my last post I confronted the notion of being self employed versus that of being employed through another.  Yes, there is my hypocritical slap in the face, but hear me out and then you be the judge.

Self employment proved to be exciting, fun and freedom as you know it could be, but let alone the frustrations, headaches, and keeping sanity was an all time high. Only because you work for yourself and the finances are not regular, they are up or down.

Whereas, being employed has its benefits and set backs too. Now I must conform to a schedule, a routine, a result-driven ambiance while being conservative. Possible, but challenging... I wake each morning thinking what day would bring at the new position I hold by being employed. Time is now a factor, I am no longer prone to being the free bird I once was for several months, but then again, I have income, regular income to satisfy the bills I am responsible for. Yet let alone, my daily routine has not changed much, I still do the errands, pick up the kids from school, but this time I rush back to the office where it was once an easier path, no rush take your time, my self employment work will still be there.

Today, two jobs are at hand by me. I am trying to see how this all goes together, not an easy task, but doable, the question is can I continue to do this? Was I a hypocrite? Yes I was, but with reason... hehehe!

Giving up is not my forte'

Born to this world 35 years ago. I've had numerous challenges and continue to do today. Yet, I am not ready to call it quits in self-employment. Giving up is not my forte' in many aspects of this life I heed. Accepting the challenges and frustration that come with living a lifestyle here in the Marianas has made me look at why most people residing in the Commonwealth see it easier to be employed by the government or other private businesses.

The headaches, the turmoil, the stress of wondering whether you will meet your payables is a constant wear on your mind. It's that tightening of the cap that does not seem to come off and when it does, its only for that brief moment. Even though its like this, I feel a sense of accomplishment. Nevertheless, the challenges that are always looming never go away.

I am inspired by my wife to succeed in what I do and that keeps me going. If it wasn't for her, I'd probably buckle and call it quits, but nope not yet. despite the hardship faced with running a business in an economy that is not so forgiving, I will not let up.  I hope that my brother decides to make it out here to help me out. I am sure that with him on my side along with the support of my wife, we can pull this off.

Today is about diversification. I am doing what is necessary to make this change to survive. I hope and pray it works to my advantage... Wish me luck!

August 2010, BISON Relations is a year old!

Straddling down and cracking the whip as I see this in my head there are many mornings where I ask myself, hmmm, how will today be? Will I be productive? Will this investment I made pay off? This was on-going for a year now since the inception of BISON Relations a year ago this month. My wife, supportive as she is, and dedicated to assisting me build this business said to me yesterday,

"Keep in mind business starts slow and eventually will succeed with hard work and dedication".

My partner, Ulysses Torres-Sabuco in this endeavor said, "Wow! This month is difficult just as last year when we first started". I responded, yes, I did not expect this. I guess the merry-go rounds and the whimsical-ness of running a business and hitting the ground running makes you look back at all the accomplishments as well the heartaches that were poured into what now already is a living breathing company. Supported by many and it supports many as well, I am glad to have started this venture.

A year ago, I was working out of home, no one knew that I had started something, I wondered each time I stayed up late and created more work for myself whether I was on the right path or was I just dreaming. My wife told me before this got going..."I may join the service to find alternative income", that was it! Being the man of the house, I could not see this happen. I went running with a business that I am passionate about and yet scared to wits I might fail, but never trying would have never made me realize what I enjoy the most, entrepreneurship..I love it!

It took several months before I could find a place to situate the business. With one desk and a computer to start off, my office was bare. No signs, no printers, just me, the desk and my computer. Slowly it took face and appearance. Slowly it morphed to looking like an office. Slowly we have become a company.

New plans on the horizon, a new building under renovation to move my business where I could flourish with more people and the development of a hopeful corporation that will enable people to have jobs in the CNMI. Can I do this? Can BISON Relations weather the storm of a weakened economy? Can the weakened economy support a business like this?

Many questions that cannot be answered, but I believe with proper planning and staging of money play for success, there is a great possibility to grow and enrich the lives of my family as well others who depend on such a business for a living.

Products released into the Community, this is only but a few!

My determination, my dreams, my reasons for waking each morning and pushing myself is made possible by the people I hold dear to my heart. My children and my wife inspire me, my family, my partner who shows support and confidence. These shared emotions only tells me to keep going, and keep doing what I enjoy most.

Economic Turmoil: When will it end?

In dismay of economic instability, more businesses calls it quit due to the financial difficulties. The economy that since 2007 received a rating of 47% in foreclosures continues to face difficult challenges. The economic turmoil of the Northern Mariana Islands is a negative portrait to investors and businesses alike. This figure is probably worse today than it was then, when will it end?

Contrast to how marketers yield opportunities, this is the time to start emphasizing on product and spending to stabilize the business growth.  I agree to this, but most businesses on island feeling the pinch differ in thought. The pennies saved is a dollar earned later and when to spend this dollar will not be towards advertising, at least not now in their perspective.

Take for example Verizon, such a large conglomerate company, but there tactics as was told to me by my brother who worked for them at one point indicated that the company does not necessary look at recession as a downfall, but merely looks in the "other" direction where they can make a buck or two.

Can the CNMI look at business this way?Can our tourism officials see that maybe something is not working right with their investment abroad through their offshore offices and what not? Are our advertising plans and actions of acquiring tourist for the islands weak? Is there enough money to support the global competition for tourism? Where do we stand on the paramount downsizing of airlines support for our islands?

This is a reflection of climate change and whether we are ready to embrace the change and effect change, we need to start with our attitude and be driven to find the "other" to steer this economic turmoil.  What we face will be depended upon the people who can make change in their way. Are you ready to effect change?

Now, as an entrepreneur as well, I am looking at the "other" direction. The time is now to get off and sweat more. Determination is my drive, happiness is my success.

Yes, I lost my job, my secured income, but nevertheless, this does not make me incapable of moving and earning for a living. I am determined to get out of this slump and find my oasis in the desert of despair. My wife supports me and my children rely on my presence to deliver, I cannot fail anyone. Not now and not ever!

Wake up Marianas! Go Local and support our local businesses as this is a start! Our Sabalu market, our T-shirt stores that are locally owned, our products that may seem expensive, but in the end, we are all keeping the funds locally and used for our very own benefit.

What's next?

Earlier on in my childhood, my parents instilled the working trait, the use of common sense and the desire to achieve success through sacrifice.  It has now been 35 years later and those traits are stuck, embedded and practiced everyday I wake. Now I ask myself what's next?  Hold let me clarify why I ask this question.

For almost three years I've worked for an educational institution, but it seems that my time has come to move on.  Now being offered a position with a hotel and there is my sole proprietorship business. The business is growing slowly, but is also enduring difficult times due to the economic situation hence, the battles have only begun. Innovations, strategic positioning, enhancing product value and clientèle confidence is ever-more important in todays service industry, but even with that, some clients (possible) still think that they can do without, maybe so and possibly this is why many local businesses fail because they fail to set the NEED for such services.

Ok, I said business is tough and I have decided I will not have my business suffer by carrying my baggage.  I will sacrifice yet another dream to insure stability for my company, this means, I need to get a J-O-B.  No problems with that, I think I would make a tremendous offering back into the work force, I know my capabilities and my ambitious crave to succeed in anything that I do, but now I ask again, what's next?

Difficult decisions are difficult only for the very fact that a change would affect not on you as the person, but everyone around you, in this case, my love ones, my family.  Am I ready to make the change? But if the requirement is to provide for my family then seriously there is no reason I should not consider this. The problem is lied with the extensive hours that once again I will place by being employed versus self employment.  Don't get me wrong, self-employment is much more difficult as I wake each wondering whether I'd make a buck today or not. These challenges of being self-employed in a small economically distraught economy makes you think if this is what's next to rely on as a livelihood. Scale down on lifestyle, done...but here I am again, whats next?

Weekend Toils for weekend spoils...

July 3rd 2010, a Saturday that was just beginning. My six children, have yet to awaken, I get up only on the basis of turning off the Air Conditioners. I think to myself, ok, here we go, no housekeeper today, your all alone and they will wake with rumbling stomachs and many other request that will ring in my ear like a broken record.

I lay back in bed and a few minutes later, Wade has this plastic figurine of a lego spaceman in front of me. "Dad, dad, daddy, mornin'... see, he is looking at you snoring", he says.... I laugh and say good morning Wadey boy! Mind you this is 06:14am. It's going to be a long day!

Number two child wakes and gets a hold of my camera, now things start getting louder at home. Oh by this time, Wade and I had dropped off Tony to his band practice for their concert at DFS later in the afternoon. I felt his eagerness to have me see his performance, I was proud to know he wanted my presence even though he did not directly say, I knew he wanted me there. I was so proud!

As I returned, I looked at what was to be made for breakfast. Looked in the fridge, looked in the pantry, but nothing suits the day or at least I felt. Nannie comes up by mentioning if we had lumpia wrapper (rice wrapper), and I smiled saying, nope... Then viola! I had an idea, fresh banana sugar glazed crepes!!!! Yummy-yum-o!

Ok, we get to work! Nannie gets on the bananas and I start the crepe wrap.  I stated, please when touching the bananas outer-skin with both hands do not touch the inside after as it will be dirty.  "Ai adai si dad so concerned on the dirt or other black thingys that may get on the bananas", says Nannie... Yet, she followed directions and made sure the bananas were so clean.

Not sure on what the crepe batter is, I called Mac out for pointers and he went to work for me by contacting Googs for details....First... Second....

1. Flour 1 1/2 cup

2. 1/4 butter

3. 1 1/2 milk

4. 2 eggs

5. 2 pinch salt

Ahh, success batter made! Now to start cooking.

Nannie, I will make the crepe wraps first, cut the bananas in half then place them slightly over the sugar plate for coating. Cutting away she went.

Glazing the bananas with a sugar coat for sweetness into the crepe browning the fruit for texture. Smells fantastica!

First one made, crepe wrap needs color, but thats another story!  Ha! no colored greens or other fruits to accompany the lonely crepe on the plate, however, I was not complaining, no one was!!! After breakfast, I hear the planning taking place, who will ask as they did the night before... Ok, deep breath, its going to start again...

"Dad, what are we doing today?" asks Nannie... "Wayne are we doing anything today?" asks Hope... "Umm Dad, whats happening today?" says Donny... and the other just stares.... These questions came in from different angles at slightly different times as if practiced to deliver the best performance in acting.

Wheeling and dealing. Rather than toiling around doing nothing, lets clean up and I'll think about it.  Donny on the dishes, jay on the bedding, Hope on the table and .....Nannie...

Oh yeah, she is on the floor.  They pitched in and I was very pleased.  Now, I guess I have to say something... Ok, guys after all is done, I want everyone to shower... The questions start again, "why? can't we shower later?", says Nannie..."Shower? Are we going somewhere?' asks Hope... Ok guys yes, I have a plan.

Ahhh, yes we are going!

However, I would like to finish my coffee first guys!

All showered and ready to go... "ummm daddy, where we going?"....You will find out soon. Did some errands, laughed in the car and joked with everyone, Hope and Nannie making funny faces... It was nice...

I saw in the paper on Friday, pizza hut had some specials going on, it was our lunch, but I may say a very late lunch.

Donny happy for Pizza!

Jay saying, did you know I only ate one crepe and it filled me? Ahh, yes I do remember as I only made one per child, I am glad you are not overeating...

Nannie and hope, wishing the pizza was already placed. It was only 10 minutes since we ordered.  Oh yeah the order was 2 pizzas 2 toppings. Hope and Donny - Mushroom and sausage, Nannie and Jay, Chicken and Pepperoni... Wade, bread sticks...Daddy, ok, only that!

Wade contemplating his secret thought...

"I want to tell you my secret.... I love you daddy!"

A group shot, but missing Mommy, Tony, Peyton and Sommer... Afterwards, DFS for Tony's concert appearance with SSHS Manta Band and the Guam Territorial Band.  This should be nice to watch.

Come on Donny! Why can't you smile... "Sheesh! it is so hot outside and my butt is on fire from this chair!", says Donny.

Oh Yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Hope trying to sing while Wade takes notice of the camera.. "Me, Me, Me!"

Weirdo in action, but great laughs!

Hey sister!

And there he is, Tony and his trombone along with about 50 members of the group playing at DFS. I am so proud of him, he came to a 180 degree turn when Mr. Dewitt asked him to join the band for this liberation day.  I am proud of my son! He has spent his last 72 hours in practice with the group.  Keep it up son!

Right after the concert tony comes to me and says, "ummm Wayne, the members are going to Big Dipper afterwards, do you have at least $3.00 for my ice cream while there?"... No problem here is $5.00. Enjoy yourself and call me when your ready to come home. "Thanks", he replies.

Lets take a group shot! I say and they all look at me like dad, there are so many people, hahahaha, I don't care I want this shot! Snap!

The last leg, taking the walk to the car to head home and relax.  The weekend toilers got some spoiling, but then again, it was not that much after all.  I miss my wife as I am sure she would have been proud of me on how I handled the children this weekend.

A fathers love misunderstood...

I guess at times, your children mistaken you for being a tough, self-centered person when instilling discipline. It is funny however that I try as hard to teach only what I was taught as young boy growing to be man.  Expectations are meant to be broken and you know what, I understand. I just hope they understand me as well.

My wife has taught me to love in different ways, discipline with love was new to me as that was something I did not endure growing up, it was either you messed up and will be disciplined or you don't and probably still get disciplined. Ha ha ha....

Anyways back to my subject, I feel that there are times when a fathers love is misunderstood.  I personally feel that my strictness makes my children feel that I don't love them, but I do, different strokes for different folks is what it is. I came into my children's lives with my 2nd wife after they have already experienced a different lifestyle. Nevertheless, I try to show my unconditional love for them, by doing what I feel is best.  It is a challenge, but I am hoping that in the future they will see that I never once looked away and treated them any different from that of my own blood.

To all my children, daddy loves you all!

Surpassing Expectations Update....

With my expectation stated in January of this year through this blog, I mentioned areas of challenges and dreams come to reality. Well, the couture of things are this:

1. BISON Relations is operating and taking off. It's time to fine tune and reorganize to build equity with the business model. Our name is out there and clients are so pleased with the professional work provided.

2. National Guard was what I really wanted to get into, certain issues affected my enlistment, nevertheless, I am still eager to find myself as a service member in the future.

3. Non-profit group for Humanitarians is kicking butt! Although still in its infancy stages, through proper leadership we have accounted for many fundraising activities and are now looking at growing the organization for international sponsorship of children. Recently we have just opened up in the Philippines whereas, 3 children are being sponsored with $30.00 per month each for their livelihood, health and education.  It isn't much, but it surely helps.




So in essence, I am buzzing like a buzy bee, but that's fine as long as I make time for my family.

HELLER :) Yes, yes, its been a while!

I officially welcome myself back to the world of blogging, I kinda miss it and then again, a great way to keep tabs on the developments that have been a part of me and those who are in my life good and bad, but more so the good from here on out!

Ok, I thought I'd make myself look funny and yes, i should close my mouth, but I was multi-tasking at the time. Try this, hold your camera in one hand and a popcorn or m&m in the same hand and toss, catch with your mouth.... Hahaha, wait a minute, then you question how was the photo captured, see that was the amazing part of it!  I tossed high enough to refocus on the shot, hoping I would have caught in time as the photo was taken... Unfortunately, that was not the case...

Good to be back!

Changing Tides...New format for Blog

I've decided to use this blog for recording instances of my divorce problems with my ex-wife who seems to create more problems than needed for particularly a record of Child visitations and everything else.  I will start posting only those that need to be recorded as eventually, one day, my children will see the what had transpired over the days, months and years of my intent to be with them only to be distraught from my ex-wife's actions.

It may hurt, but I need to start the recording process for the better good.

Unequivocally surpassing expectations

Throughout life, there has been many obstacles that hindered progress. I know it will never subside as these hurdles and challenges plague me horrendously. However, my luck has changed.

Why do I use the term luck? Well, I am a firm believer that the woman in your life resurrects or better yet, vehemently entices one to progress. In my case, I am with my perfect match. Unequivocally she gives me the motivation, the drive to succeed in what I do. To date, my accomplishment listed is not of a huge number, but an accomplishment of what I intend to do or become as I surpass my expectations.

They are:

1. Opened my own business once again, a PR company called BISON Relations. Funny how I thought of this name only the very purpose of the actual animal. Used as my company name for its strength, cunning mobility, gracefulness, embodied stature, then again, when considering my wife's name Boni, the letters in BISON has Boni written all over it. The perfect name for my business.

2. Joining the armed forces. I have done so much in my short life to date, yet I have not been challenged by the Armed Forces. I am curios and eager to find my calling, it may not be it, but I would want to try. What have I got to loose, aside from being deployed to dangerous grounds, then again, I lay my life in the hands of our almighty.

3. President of a non-profit group called Empty Vessel. A humanitarian organization helping others to find stability and financial solvency for themselves. I am proud to serve in this capacity, however not easy with my duties and tasks at hand.

Over the years, I have succeeded in many occasions as well have failed. That has never stopped me from getting up and rising to the occasion once again. I've used my failures to strengthen myself, I mean, my failures are not your common failures in life. I strangely placed myself in such predicaments that would need a crane with large spools of cable to pull me out of the depth I dug myself into. Funny how life composes and defines you as a person.

Closing out this post has got me thinking of where I am today. What have I become? Who am I in this world? I am simple and hardworking and I know that only good things come from those traits. I am a family man, a father, a dad, a lover, a partner, a businessman, a speaker, a confidant, and a friend to say a few. Hence without encouragement from my family, I would never have done what I am doing today. My wife supports me in my endeavors and for once in my life I was told "I am proud of you". My wife said this to me last week as I spoke on behalf of MLK and the non-profit group I head. I love my life, I love the people around me, I love my children, and most of all I love my wife as she defines me.

Karma hits 10 fold on Mouth!

Last Monday, January 11, 2010, the inauguration of my father in law was staking place at the legislative senate chamber. Boni and I were there since the beginning. Low and behold, my ex-in-laws sat right in front of us. I did not really care to feel indifferent, I worried more on my wife who sat right next to me. I wondered what was going through her head as she sees these individuals, one who has spoken ill of her when in fact not knowing her at all. Carelessly, my ex-mother in-law as in her own arrogant ways opens her mouth for attention. I have always realized that she craves to be on center stage. Today was yet another day to showcase herself that way.

I was pleased with my wife's attitude, she is truly a respectable and honorable woman. I on the other hand cannot compare to her standards. Nevertheless, the mouth who sat in front of us opened, she giggled on and on hideously as others kept quiet listening to the procession taking place. No one understood why she giggled like she did. I looked around and saw that others were looking at her with bewilderment. Baffled as to what is so funny and then turn away as if she did not exist. Well she really did not exist and no one really cared of her presence where she probably believed they did.

As my father in-law announced his replacement, he spoke of words indicating a transition. He spoke in English as not everyone in the room would have understood our native tongue Chamorro. As he stepped down from his post as the Senate President of the 16th Legislature, the new President presided for the 17th legislature. He then now spoke in our native tongue and what I heard from mouth in front of me disturbed me. She opened her foul invasive mediocre mouth that was intended for my wife and I to hear, she says, "I am glad to hear this speaker as the first one could not speak" (in Chamorro). She failed to realize that her speaking is that of an elementary child, yet she criticizes one who understands the English language very well and practices the use of the language.

My wife did not hear this, but I told her what she said. On and on we watched the proceedings take place. At one point, mouth decided to move to seat next to her which places her in closer distance to both Boni and I. Immediately, Boni says, "What's that smell? It stinks?", of course I was not listening at the time, but I did notice a few heads turn to see what Boni was talking about. As she explains to me, it related to mouth now sitting in front of me, the person sitting two chairs away from her turned and giggled at my wife as she made the comment.

Interesting enough, Karma hit 10 fold in that short moment. Funny how things turn around so quickly. be careful mouth as the next time, it will not be that subtle.

Transition...What does that mean in life?

It was last month, December 2009, that I pondered on thoughts about my current position, my job, my income. I thought to myself, although I enjoy the people I work with, I believe I am coming to a closure of this part in my life, my roots have been uprooted and I am blowing wherever the wind's direction is going, but not until I can secure financial means for my family.

Of course I am not that free moving like the wind, but have the drive and motivation to move on. My responsibilities for my family hold me planted and re-rooted to where I am, well at least for a while that is. How far do I go? I plan to enlist with the Guam National Guard, a career change? No, I do this to support my family, I know it is not an easy decision to make, but it is one that will enable my family with a life I am longing to provide them. I have started my business in August 2008, a Public Relations company and now I have just signed my first yearly contract with the Public School System. I am grateful for the blessings and particular the support I have received over the past months from key people who have entrusted my company and my companies talents. My excitement and challenges begin.

Today, I will find myself at the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation, setting up my power for my new office. A place of my solitude where I can focus and rethink strategies and move in a direction of profits, hopefully that is. My WIFE, who is my partner, best friend, and lover supports my endeavors. I appreciate her support as I want her involvement when the time comes, but then again, how far do I go with this? The challenges of running a business on Saipan, hence, everywhere else in the world is not easy. Global economic downturn is affecting everyone, including a small business like mine. Intervention, creativity will have to take place. Soon, I tell myself as I will enable more time to developing my business. I am career oriented, I am motivated, I am scared of what is there for me with what I am doing, but I wish to have no regrets and I will do what I can to say in the least, I have no "what ifs?".

I tend to see this as a transition in my life, does that make sense? can it be called a transition? All I can say is am hoping that with this new changes I tend to make, I would only hope for the best, but it is mere fact that actions are what depict your success or failures, I am not going to fail! I carry with me my cross, I will not drop it, and if I do, I will not dwell on how far it fell, I will ensure that i quickly pick it up and trudge along with lessons learned.

Wish me luck as I start on my transition...

8 is a lucky number, yes?

The eight (8) come together this past weekend. Boni and I shared a wonderful weekend as it played out a little hectic, but in the end, rewarding as new lessons were taught, feeling and emotions were let out to show how love was in the air at our family home in Papago, Saipan.

Our oldest, Tony, with his drivers license was able to go out on Friday to the movies, he saw the movie "SAW VI", I am envious I love the SAW movies... The rest stayed at home, relaxed knowing full well that we will have activities set up over Saturday and Sunday. A few days we have them all, this is the first picture of everyone together... They are all growing so fast, one day Boni and I will sit back and say to ourselves that we have accomplished so much for our deserving children and one day I look forward to everyone coming back to visit expressing their joy and happiness of a love that they share altogether that was instilled by both Boni and I.

The day continues as food, drinks, deserts and games entertained everyone at Mikaela's 1st birthday party held at the Giovanni's Hyatt Regency Saipan. Boni and I are her godparents, and low and behold I was asked to show exactly how low I can go... Without my girls, Peyton and Wayannie, I probably would not have gone that far throughout the limbo competition. In the end, we got second place, team work paid off.

Yup, it paid off alright, the payoff came with a soar back and thighs... Ooops, has it been that long since my last workout?

Set Your Examples...

“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander” is an American Proverb used over and over again in topics of sexuality, sauces, and in general lament terms of society. My use of this quote is on the basis of society.

Year after year our Commonwealth has faced many challenges, all of which require tough decisions to make and whether they are the right ones or the wrong ones, we must all remember we are a young nation learning to crawl before we can walk. Some may disagree in what I am about to say, but in my personal views, I address only what I believe to have seen and experienced.

On CDA

I would like to start of my comment on the very fact that the Commonwealth Development Authority (CDA) is working on the development of a business incubator, personally it’s about time! Isn’t this what the agency is spearheading, encouraging small business development? How far will this go? A set up of the incubator is a great move, but you must also remember that many people in the Commonwealth who may have a desire to establish a small business cannot fork up the necessary 20% requirement for funding, will there be a plan to stimulate this? I for one believe that it is the middle class men and women who make up the economy of any nation. It is solely on the basis that they are the hard-working individuals who look forward to the American Dream, but then again, dreams are complacent, and in most cases, what is already at hand is enough.

With CDA in this movement, I congratulate the positive reconfiguration of the defunct Pacific Gardenia Hotel. The next steps would be on how to maximize the use of this facility as well offer cash flow packages for serious small business entrepreneurs.

On Retirement Fund

An accrued liability of over $1B is so hard to swallow. As I was growing up, the government retirement plan was the way to go. Everyone wanted this security, the plan, the benefits, and the desire to live comfortably after serving your years of requirements have become the “Commonwealth Dream”. Today this dream has become the nightmare. There have been many talks on how to make this change from a liability to a profit generating agency that can be self-sustainable. Purchases in stock market to manage cash flow, but that’s a gamble, the new policies of a redefined class retirement plan, but that too still possesses the old class benefits if paid for to meet the required amounts, the increase in retirement contributions from employees today, but then again, will the fund survive? What will happen to the funds invested by each and every individual, and lastly the new DC plan, which is quite the same as a 40lK plan. There is also saying that “if it is not broken don’t change it? This is in reference to the 401K plan. Private companies use this form of retirement plan for their employees, it is merely the employees who decide THEIR contribution to THEIR pension.
I am sure there are many difficulties hindering movement with the fund, but with all due respect, it is the mere valued benefits that have sucked the funds dry over the years. These benefits include but are limited to the 20-30% increment bonuses, the double-dips when they were accepted, the allowance of the funds to transfer to adopted grandchildren or great grandchildren from those who have retired and have passed on.

These benefits are great for those families and individuals who are receiving it. It is not your fault that you are subjected to my topic, but again, I look at the Commonwealth and not on my very own interest.

On Commonwealth Ports Authority

The CPA had a qualified Executive Director walk out of its doors prior to his contract expiring on the basis of Board micro-managing. How shameful could this be? Has the Board forgotten what their fiduciary duties are to the agency and not that of controlling the very movement of day to day operations? I can see Former executive Director Camacho’s frustration, the Board is designed to regulate policies and procedures as well account for the expenditures of the agency at a certain level, but not to uphold the operation in the clasp of their hands. I recall several complaints about former chair Rex Palacios on how he was going to or has set up an office for his own at the ports. I find this quite odd. If he wanted that office, he should have applied for the Executive Director Position and not be a board member chair.

It is sad to see that the government through some agencies is moving as if they belong to an individual or group members of a board for personal gain or personal acknowledgment in power. Remember the Public Lands Board? Now that was ridiculous.

On New Investment for the Commonwealth

On and on again you hear about the sales of a green card in Asia if you set up a business here. Kilili addresses this as a concern, the government keeps a steady hand on the basis of nothing is done wrong as of yet.

However, we do not know exactly what is being said out their. A company would say “invest with us in the CNMI, $100K - $250K and YOU will GET a U.S. Green Card! Hmm, to me that is appealing if I so desire to have the green card. Yet under false pretense, this would have a negative connotation on the islands we call home, are we allowing outside influence to depict what the Spaniards call these lands many moons ago” Islas de los ladrones? Where is our national pride? In our current time, it is these foreign sharks that have a keen interest on making a quick buck by utilizing a rumor of green card opportunities in the CNMI.

The end result is, we are the ones who will be called the liars and thieves for sucking up the funds from the hard-working middle class citizens from other nations looking for their American Dream!

As I close out this post, there are so many other areas that have issues that could be addressed like our CHC, DPS, CAC, WAO, but I’ll save that for a later time. If we do practice and observe the American Proverb “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander”? We may be more susceptible to being mindful of our actions.

Taking it all in!

Grrr.... finances, finances...I received a letter from the CNMI Tax and Revenue Office stating I am needed to come in and straighten out my 1040 submission.. Hmmm, I wonder why? I asked myself.

I was so curious at the same baffled by what is the problem with my tax submission. I drove up to the Tax & Rev Office, parked, took a deep breath, oh....bare in mind I am not receiving this year, but paying on chapter 2, the first time it happened to me. Anyhow, I went in, picked a number to be seen, when I was called, the attending woman says politely, "good afternoon, how may I help you sir?", I smiled in return and greeted her as well and I responded, I received this letter as I showed it to her, she took one look and said, "oh my, may I get your social security number?" I passed it along verbally and she typed it in, now I started to sweat, her comment gave me a scare. My thoughts on having to make another payment haunted me...She grinned for a moment as she went over the computer screen looking at what's the problem. My sweat continued to downpour from my head, to cheek and other parts of my heated body from the pent up feeling of anticipation.

She said "Mr. Pangelinan, I'm afraid you did not report on your interest received for the year, there are bank interest on a savings account as well your CNMI Retirement Fund interest", she commented. Ok, a sigh of relief. As she wrote down the amount, I came to realize that my RF amount is huge in interest and said to myself, oh my, am I to cover these cost again? How will I do this?

The thought of more hardship rattled my brain. She smiled as she gave me the documet wih the written amount on it, I looked at her in disbelief, I said thank you and walked away. By this time, everything is sinking in. My worries got the best of me and I was taking it all in, I feel like I am on my last string. Quite disturbing... Shoots, I did not ask whether I am to pay for all these? What would my wife feel about the debt I am about to share with her? Damn! I'm in another bind.