The Past, Present and Now My Future!

It was very recent that my life took a turn at what I thought would have been an enormous undertaking.  My personal life of which I was very much accustomed to, diminished in a blink of an eye.  From a past of stabilization and independence, to the heeding of desperation, the dependancy on others, truly a challenge I did not want to endure.

My past revolved around a life I built with a woman who at one point, I believed to be the very best of me.   I found out she wasn't.. Damn! did I find out.  However,I have no regrets as now I am extremely in a happy position where I know I have been blessed.  I share with you my past in a nutshell, an article I had published in the paper only to convey my truest feelings of the woman I once adored, cherished, and called my wife for many years with pride.

Today, I know  I am a lucky man!  Yes, I found someone.  A woman with a huge heart, intelligent and amazing in every aspect that I can think off.  Sharing many things in common and of course the enjoyment and laughter we share when together.  I am a lucky man, I have Boni Reyes.

My article published in the Marianas Variety on March 4, 2008 reads: 

When Love is Compromised!

I often wonder, what is the value of love, is this measurable by any means, how does one use the word love and ensure it really is?  The bible holds and endearing definition of what love is, but how does one get to that state of mind of when to say I love you?  Has it become too common and that it is not words of great value, but again, what value does this hold? The events of life that take you on a ride on all that is good and beautiful, but what do you do when your love is compromised?

I speak of love in any man and woman relationship as my own opinion to the matter.  The world today is so liberal that love is as common as now going to the movies.  Partners interchange frequently even after expressing love for one another and don't realize the implications caused when doing this to themselves or others.  But in a relationship, love is earned and not just given.  It takes time to build, takes time to share, and surely it takes time to express itself to its full extent.  It is not something that can be picked out at a shopping store.

I've heard the variety of reasons such as I fell out of love, we've grown apart, and I don't love you no more.  While dating, this is always applied when ending the relationship, but when married and through church, from my standpoint and belief, there is more at stake.  Whether children are involved or not,  I believe marriage in church is the value you could place on love.  I bring the religious aspect in this picture for reference of faith and hope, but regardless of religion, you still could hold your faith and hope in other things. Faith as well is not given, but practiced, followed, and ultimately expressed.  When living by the covenant promise of marriage, you often overlook the flaws, differences, and phases of growth only to strengthen the covenant between both man and woman accepted in church under god.  There are some people I have met felt that i is not as valuable and when compared to marriage in court, they are similar, but I, in my opinion, think otherwise.

What happens when your love is compromised, what do you do?  For our lifestyle in the islands, the best thing to turn to is our faith.  Hope can work wonders.  It is sad to see so many people get married and divorced in a year or two.  I have known a person who has been married for 9 years and has been with his wife for almost 18 years.  They grew up together, they learned from a variety of mistakes, learned to trust, learned to love deeply and with no regret.  It is a wonderful feeling seeing this happen before you as you will know there is hope, but when you loose that, your world crumbles, your life is at a stall and any movement becomes increasingly difficult.  You are in a confused state of mind.

What does this person do when his/her love was compromised?  First thing is to accept and then in my opinion, I would say find peace, solace and tranquility with yourself.  Build on faith and hope in that life will only improve for the better.  The friends and family that I have seen go through difficulty times with their marriages or their relationships due to unforeseen circumstances such as falling out of love, cheating, finding reason for blame, constant arguments go through major emotional distress placed on the heart and mind, and this alone could be an overbearing experience.

In our world today, too many people marry and then divorce as if it is a fad, a style, a trendy setting.  I believe the value of matrimony has ben lost and seen ridiculed by the general population who stand for simply marriage being the "it" thing to do.  From looking around me, marriage is a community, a feat, and event for welcoming and when divorce comes around, it affects the community and people directly involved such as family and close friends, all is lost, things would not be the same even when they say we will remain friends.  For building on love, just so you all know, be faithful, be kind, express yourself openly, and participate on bonding activities.  These are only a few things I could say that has worked for me over my time and experiences.

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Of course this was written at a time of despair when trying to reach out to her. I am not sure how it was perceived by her, but I do know it brought people in question about their relationship second chances to rekindle and strengthen what they almost lost.  I had several calls that day from strangers expressing gratitude for the article as it opened their eyes, I was definitely pleased with its outcome.